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Adolf Hitler (Downfall Parodies) VS Angry German Kid
Adolf Hitler VS Angry German Kid '''is the eighth episode of Wolverine-Man's second season and the latter's first joke fight. It pits Adolf Hitler from countless, countless Downfall parodies against the Angry German Kid from the same title series. Description It's the meme battle to end all meme battles. Will Adolf Hitler end the Angry German Kid's habit of destroying many keyboards? Interlude '''ONE MINUTE MELEE! WHERE ALL THE FIGHTS ARE SETTLED IN 60 SECONDS! TWO FIGHTERS! NO RESEARCH! 60 SECONDS! 1! MINUTE! MELEE! PRESS START! SELECT YOUR CHARACTER! (PLAYER ONE CHOOSES Adolf Hitler.) (PLAYER TWO CHOOSES Angry German Kid.) LET'S ROCK? Alrighty! '/ Uh, one sec... ('Alrighty! 'selected.) MELEE! '(NOTE: THIS IS MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT ANYTHING JOKE-RELATED SO PLEASE SHOW SOME SUPPORT.) The Führerbunker, inside "We have captured this boy named Leopold Andreas Slikk. He is known as the keyboard crusher or more commonly the Angry German Kid for the following reason: He is notorious for destroying many keyboards. Having many keyboards destroyed is more than we are willing to tolerate. So expect him to arrive here soon." Krebs informed. "Should this "Angry German Kid" be executed?" was the reply of the most evil person to ever exist, Adolf Hitler. The room was silent for a few seconds. After a while, Krebs broke the silence. "Technically no, my Führer. Destroying keyboards is not a reason to be executed. So I suggest confronting this kid about this." "That's fine." Hitler answered. Then, the kid Krebs informed Hitler about entered the room. He held a keyboard in his left hand and as soon as he saw Hitler, it was clear that something was very wrong. He was rooted to the spot, his eyes wide and his body trembling. "A-A-Are you...?" he stuttered. "Yes. I am Adolf Hitler, leader of the Nazi Party and Führer of Nazi Germany. Krebs has informed me that you have a nasty habit of destroying keyboards. Is this true?" Leopold Slikk, better known as the Angry German Kid, didn't respond. In fact, he didn't even move at all. He continued to stare at Hitler without moving a muscle. Hitler began to lose his patience after a few seconds. "Is this true?" he said in a more stern voice. Leopold just stared at him. After what felt like hours, his expression finally changed. His eyebrows creased and his teeth clenched. "You monster." Everyone except Hitler gasped at what Leopold just said. "Did I hear you correctly?" was Hitler's response. "You monster!" Leopold shouted and pointed at Hitler. "You evil, heartless, cruel sadistic beast! ''You murdered six million Jews! You deserve much more than death for that atrocity! You deserve to burn in Hell for all eternity! You deserve to have your dead corpse eaten by predators! And you also deserve this!" Without any warning, Leopold threw the keyboard at Hitler, who didn't have time to dodge. The keyboard struck his nose, causing him to place his hands on it. Everyone else was too stunned to do anything. ''Good. ''Because Hitler would kill this child in cold blood for this. "Enough of this! You shall die at the hands of me, boy!" Hitler then threw the keyboard back at Leopold, who managed to catch it. "I shall avenge the deaths you caused, Hitler." '''LIVE AND LET DIE! FIGHT!' Hitler charged at Leopold. This was a big mistake, because Leopold struck Hitler with his keyboard. The two then got into a tug-of-war with the keyboard. Unfortunately for Leopold, Hitler managed to force the keyboard out of Leopold's hands. Hitler then struck Leopold with it. "You deserve every second of this for speaking to Adolf Hitler like that!" Hitler then pushed Leopold to the ground. Before Leopold could get up, the keyboard fell. Hard. Leopold let out a cry. The keyboard rose again, and fell. Again and again. Pain. Fear. Leopold suddenly realized a sob. He wouldn't be able to avenge the Jews that died. He would die at the hands of Adolf Hitler, the person who he shouldn't have messed with. Stupid move. Stupid, stupid, idiotic move. Eventually, Burgdorf spoke up. "S-Stop my Führer! Stop abusing this child!" Hitler turned to look at him. "He deserves every second of abuse for speaking to me so meanly!" he shouted. "My Führer, you'll be arrested for child abuse! And you deserve that for this heinous act!" he ranted. "No-one can arrest me! No-one can kill me! No-one! I am Adolf Hitler! Hitler cannot be arrested or killed by anybody! Especially keyboard-destroying mean children!" he struck Leopold one more time for emphasis. If Leopold's back was exposed, everyone would saw a red mark on it. "This boy is the one who deserves cruel treatment!" he yelled. "All of you are just too idiotic to see that!" "We are not idiotic!" Burgdorf was getting angry. "You are the one who is stubborn!" "Adolf Hitler is not stubborn! If anything, you are the stubborn people!" Had Hitler paid attention, he would have saw Leopold slowly getting up. "I am literally the only intelligent person in this bunker! In fact, I am literally the only intelligent person in all of Germany!" Hitler stomped his foot to emphasize the last part. Suddenly, he felt a fist plant itself into his gut. He looked at Leopold, who was on his feet and was the one who punched Hitler. "That is so untrue on so many levels." he snarled. Before Hitler could reply, Leopold punched him again. Everyone watched with amazement as Leopold began to beat Hitler half to death. A kid ''was beating up the ''Führer! Soon, Hitler was on the ground with a bloody nose and wobbly teeth. One of his eyes were swollen. Leopold was breathing heavily. To say that he was immensely satisfied would be an understatement. Hitler was not a person. He was a monster. A sadistic, heartless, soulless creature. He deserved every second of that beating. "I'm outta here." said Leopold. He turned around and began to walk away as everyone stared at him. But unbeknownst to them, Hitler was slowly getting up. He watched Leopold leave through the one eye that wasn't swollen. He began trembling with barely-suppressed rage. He then picked up a pencil and threw it at Leopold. "Look out!" Burgdorf shouted. Leopold turned around, but it was too late. The pencil stabbed into his neck. Hitler stomped over to Leopold and then forcefully pulled the pencil out of Leopold's neck. Hitler swung the pencil again and again, cutting Leopold's face and neck in the process. He even shoved it up Leopold's nostrils. Hitler then stabbed Leopold square in the navel with the pencil. He pulled the pencil out of Leopold's body, then let it fall to the floor. He then lifted up Leopold's shirt and began pulling out his victim's intestines. When Leopold's intestines were out, Hitler stabbed the pencil deep into Leopold's neck and swung it in the right direction, slicing his victim's neck open and causing blood to spray out of the wound. Leopold then fell onto his back. He was gone. Hitler looked down at Leopold's dead body. He dropped the blood-covered pencil before turned to look at everyone. "I want this boy's corpse to be disposed of immediately." But no-one did so. They just stared at him with shocked expressions. They saw the monster he truly was. "Do I have to do everything myself?!" Hitler growled after a while. He picked up Leopold's corpse and the intestines before leaving. ---- The Führerbunker, outside Once he was outside, Hitler dropped Leopold's corpse and the intestines. They were soon doused with petrol and lit on fire. Hitler re-entered the bunker, leaving the burning corpse that was once Leopold Andreas Slikk, A.K.A the Angry German Kid. His days of destroying keyboards were finally over. K.O.! THIS MELEE'S WINNER IS... ADOLF HITLER! Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:Completed What-If? One Minute Melees Category:Wolverine-Man Category:'Anti-Hero VS Villain' themed One Minute Melees Category:Joke One Minute Melees Category:'Anti-Heroes' themed One Minute Melees